If you’re from Yorkshire – or you know people who are – you’ll know that August 1 is Yorkshire Day. But why should they have all the fun? Here are the best ways to wind them up.
There is nothing more annoying when somebody says they are travelling north, and put ‘I’m going ooooop north’. When Yorkshire people say ‘up’, does it rhyme with ‘hoop’? No, it doesn’t – so it is just ‘up’, thanks.
Attempting a Yorkshire accent
Yorkshire is far too large and diverse for one accent, so it’s probably not worth trying. But a couple of pointers: Nobody actually says ‘ee by gum’ (and the Yorkshire online auction website is not called eBay gum) - and don’t say ‘t’ instead of ‘the’. The ‘t’ you see written down is actually a slight pause rather than actually pronounced; if you say ‘I’m walking down t’middle of t’street on way to t’pub’ and pronounce all the ‘t’s, you’ll sound ridiculous.
Serve roast beef without Yorkshire pudding
Are you out of your mind?
Have an opinion about the newest parts of Yorkshire
Even people from within Yorkshire can get into a bit of bother about this one. There is some confusion about which are the newest bits of the county; some say the East Riding is the newest, after the abolition of Humberside in the 1980s; others believe it is traditionally South Yorkshire, as there were originally three ridings (meaning thirds) – North, West and East. This discussion is not advisable, particularly with those from the East Riding.
Say Wensleydale cheese is from Wigan
Wallace and Gromit have a lot to answer for. Wallace was famous for loving the crumbly goodness of Wensleydale cheese – proving even Lancastrians can appreciate a good thing from across the Pennines - but obviously it is made in the dale it takes its name from (and specifically a market town called Hawes).
State your preferred tea as something other than Yorkshire Tea
Do you even like tea?
Assume Robin Hood is from Nottinghamshire
It has been claimed that while in popular culture it is thought Robin and his merry men were in Sherwood Forest, in the earliest ballads the outlaw resided in Barnsdale Forest, in South Yorkshire. Doncaster Airport is known as Robin Hood Airport for this reason.
Mention stereotypical Yorkshire clothing
Flat caps went out of fashion as soon as southerners started wearing them.
Tell them they’re tight
Yorkshire folk aren’t tight, just merely sensible with cash and refuse to be taken advantage of. It is, however, perfectly acceptable to spit out your Timothy Taylor’s on discovering it costs a fiver a pint in London.
Tell them they’re rubbish at football
A Yorkshire team may never have won the Premier League (Leeds United’s success in 1992 came in the final season of the old First Division), but Hull City reached the FA Cup final last season – and the world’s oldest football club is Sheffield FC, which was founded in 1857.
And while we’re on the subject of sport, let’s face it, Yorkshire was the success story of the London 2012 Olympics, with the likes of Jessica Ennis, Nicola Adams and the Brownlee brothers helping the county to seven gold, two silver and three bronze medals, which would have placed it 12th in the medal table if it was a country.
Remind them where Jeremy Clarkson was born
Doncaster, you say? That must be somebody tampering with Wikipedia.
Becky Gamester is Homepage Editor of BT.com. Born in Nottinghamshire but raised in Yorkshire, she is staking her claim on Robin Hood in any case.