At last it’s official – men are not all that masterful with a mop.
A new survey by home cleaning agency Housekeep.com has revealed that men are five times less likely than women to do any household cleaning.
Yes, it’s a depressing stuck-in-the-fifties fact, but it’s hardly a surprise.
There are similar results from such surveys nearly every year – 2013’s report, for example, showed us that the average women spent 17 hours a week on housework, compared to just under six hours for men.
Sadly, anyone who’s ever met a man doesn’t really need a survey to point out they are inevitably, unrelentingly, unbearably hopeless at housework.
Yes, it’s a sweeping generalisation, but it’s a true one, and here’s why:
Sadly, it’s engrained in the DNA. Back in our cave-dwelling days the men went out with clubs to beat mammoths while the women stayed behind cleaning said cave and cleaning dead-mammoth rug with a twig. Nowadays we might have Tesco and robotic hoovers, but the basics remain the same: men hunt, women clean.
Look at any toy store and it’s there in all its sexist-marketing glory: pink cooking sets for little girls, big blue muddy diggers for boys. We’re peddling gender divisions before most children even know what gender is, but when their subconscious learning is at its most sponge-like. We only have ourselves to blame.
It’s an inability to multitask
Women do more housework than men because we are infinitely more efficient, it’s as simple as that. A scientific paper in the journal BMC Psychology at the end of last year proved men were slower and less organised than women when switching rapidly between tasks in tests. So in the time a man has, say, thought about emptying the laundry basket, a woman has not only emptied it, she’s carried it down to the machine, dragging a broom behind her.
It’s because they’re oblivious
It’s only one small personal example, but I think it speaks for most; a friend’s husband recently announced, after 11 years of marriage, “Oh, your eyes aren’t blue, they’re brown”. If a man can’t make a note of his own wife’s eye colour, what hope have they got of registering that bit of dust on the banisters.
It’s because they’re cunning
In the past, women have admitted they spend three hours a week redoing chores they consider their partner hasn't done properly. Perhaps it’s because we’re a bit obsessive, or perhaps it’s because they’re a bit clever. Any idiot can work out that if you do a job badly, someone will roll their eyes, mutter “if you want a job done properly, do it yourself”, and then you can sit back down on the sofa.
It’s because, apparently, they don’t want sex
Couples who split the housework fairly allegedly have the most sex, are the most satisfied with their sex lives, and express the highest level of sexual intimacy. Not quite sure why, but maybe men think this is a bad thing.