There’s nothing quite as exciting as ransacking your house and garden, looking for a promised sphere of delicious chocolatey goodness. Yes, you could easily pop to the supermarket and pick up your own chocolate egg, but where’s the fun in that?
Rifling through the cupboards and peering into the rhododendron bushes is much more exciting. But like all fun childish things (Colin the Caterpillar birthday cakes, advent calendars and fun stickers from the dentist also fall into this camp), Easter egg hunts can’t last forever.
Sadly, you’re going to have to stop hunting for chocolate eggs someday. Here are some tell-tale signs that 2015 should probably be the year you leave the egg hunting up to the kids.
1. Your mum says you’re too old
She still treats you like a child in many ways; critiquing your table manners, reminding you to wish your brother a happy birthday and offering to do your laundry, but if your mum says you’re too old you should probably accept the fact that your egg-hunting days are over.
2. No one is supervising you
If there’s no designated adult to hand, making sure you don’t injure yourself, break anything or make yourself sick by chomping all your chocolate eggs down in one sitting, you’re probably too old to take part in the hunt. In fact, you probably count as a designated adult now. Oh how the mighty have fallen.
3. You’re hungover
If you woke up in last night’s outfit, stinking of Jagerbombs and still clutching a box of cheesy chips from “the drunk food shop”, you’re definitely too old (and too groggy) to take part in an early morning egg hunt. Settle for a hot cross bun with a large coffee and withhold from the unnecessary physical exertion.
4. You bought the eggs
…And you didn’t just settle for the standard Dairy Milk affair – you splashed out on fancy Lindt eggs. Or you bought dark chocolate because of the lower sugar and higher antioxidant content. If you’re thinking too hard about the nutritional content of the chocolate, you’re definitely too mature to hunt for it.
5. The clues were way too easy
If it is eye-rollingly obvious that “you love the heat, it’s great when felt, but it’s not for me, because I would melt!” means your egg is hiding in the oven, you should probably volunteer to write the clues this year rather than muttering that your mum is an “absolute amateur”.
6. You kind of wish the hunt was for something other than chocolate eggs
Yeah, it’s fun to find hidden chocolate eggs, but wouldn’t it be even more fun if you were hunting for wine? Or money? Or a year’s Netflix subscription?
7. Someone you know has kids old enough to participate in an Easter egg hunt
That person is currently hiding eggs around the living room and getting ready to dress their bundle of joy in an adorable child-sized bunny rabbit onesie. No one is buying you a bunny rabbit onesie. You’d just look creepy.